A Cup of Kindness: One of the Best Years of my Life … 2008

“I made no resolutions for the New Year.  The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.”  ~Anaïs Nin

Making resolutions seems to be one of the things we are expected to do every December 31. Why? The argument could be made that the New Year offers folks an opportunity to reflect on how their lives are going, if they should change direction, and whether they should set goals to effect changes if necessary. Isn’t that what a resolution entails?

Reflecting on Nin’s quote, it seems a good idea to take a look at myself every day, to weigh the balance in my life, to monitor my progress toward goals, and to change what needs changing. Do most folks wait for the New Year to reflect on these things? I hope not.

As for me, I’m not making any New Year resolutions. That doesn’t mean there aren’t aspects of my life that need examination – that’s an ongoing effort. It simply means that resolving to be better than I used to be, learning from my missteps, and discarding what doesn’t work in my life are daily endeavors. Sometimes it takes months or years for changes to be apparent to others, but I know when changes in my life are happening beneath the surface.

Last year, I made a wish for 2008. I even wrote a lengthy poem for my then–beau (it just seems so junior high to use the term boyfriend). That the relationship didn’t last is just as well; knowing him gave me the courage to break out of the shell I’d hidden in for so long. My 2008 wish didn’t turn out exactly the way I though it would, but I gained some precious insights – both agonizing and amazing. I learned that I deserve to be treated with dignity (as do all people), that I’m a remarkable person (as are all people), and that I’m capable of forgiving those who hurt me deeply with betrayal and duplicity (a live & learn lesson). The most valuable lesson I learned is that I’m also capable of forgiving myself when I do something stupid (and I had my moments this year). In my moments of doubt and self-loathing, I once again learned that friendship is indeed one of the best gifts in life – thanks to my dearest friends who love me without judgment – that cup of kindness is most treasured. I made many new friends this year and strengthened existing friendships. In all of the ways that matter, this has been one of the best years of my life because of my friends – both old and new.

My personal wish for 2009 is that I look back and say I accomplished personal goals that I started long ago. Some things take longer than we think they will, and some things are definitely worth the sweat. I wonder what I will learn in 2009.

May you discover the best in you in 2009, take steps to make your life what you want it to be, and prosper in all things.



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